Anatomy of a Society (or a small part of it)

Sorry for the delay folks – work, illness, work, problems signing in here, work, etc. – you know how it is.

I have also been weighing the Britney and Anna Nicole situations. Tragic is the word that comes to mind for both situations.

But, not in the way you may think. While I would not wish ill will toward either woman, I am also a firm believer in “you reap what you sow”, in other words, karma.

The true tragedy is that these two women’s lives, and in one case a death, are microcosms of what is going on with many of our young women in our society of late.

Both Brit and Anna Nicole started their careers out using their “innocent but sexy” qualities each had. Brit became a household name when she flitted around in her provocative Catholic school girl uniform in the music video for “… Baby One More Time”. Girls as young as seven were eating up what Brit had to offer, dancing along to her music videos on MTV with Brit-matching midriff shirts and micro miniskirts. She was a self-proclaimed virgin, having fun growing up – nothing too dirty, slutty, or hair-raising.

Anna Nicole, nee Vickie Lynn Hogan, began her career as Playboy model, claiming she wanted to be the “next Marilyn Monroe”. The former Red Lobster waitress parlayed her 1993 Playmate of the Year moniker into a series of respectable modeling contracts. Despite getting her start at Playboy (which, by the way, is the only classy gentleman’s nude magazine), Anna had great aspirations and she was nothing to be ashamed of at the time.

Both women started out with good intentions, wanting to display their sexuality in a strong fashion like their WWB idols Madonna and Marilyn Monroe respectively. They courted the public and paparazzi’s attention and love to help nourish and further their careers. But a funny thing happened on the way to the pop culture stratosphere…

The thing is, dear readers, is that 1) you have to be careful what you wish for and 2) how you obtain said dream. Both women, as their lives and careers went on, has to go to further lengths in order to keep the public’s adoration and center stage in the media. Why? Because both women here did not possess the talent that their idol does/did.

No one helped Madonna become the icon she is today. Yes, she has a manager, etc. now. But, before she was a legend, she hustled the streets of NYC for every break she could. She was and is involved in every decision in her career. As she pushed the envelope while her career grew, she did it in a provocative way that was a character, not what her private persona is/was. She experimented, trying to demonstrate what a WWB (see previous post) is – intelligently discovering her sexuality and place in the world, saying that what she did was not necessarily right for everyone.

Marilyn, like Ms. Smith, began her career at Playboy. She wanted to become more than the stereotypical dumb blonde, so she sought out Lee Strasburg, one of the premiere acting coaches. Marilyn left Hollywood to learn to be better at her craft. She also developed her own production company, something very few Hollywood women had in the 1960’s. She also was a WWB.

Now, both Brit and Anna Nicole went off the road somewhere in the recent past to make them the ludicrous media stories they are today. Britney pushed the sexual envelope, but she pushed it with pre-pubescent girls in her audience (no one ever saw a 7 year old at a Madonna concert, at least not that I am aware of). She pushed sex for the sake of it because T&A sells records, products, etc. People tuned in to see what Britney would do or how little she was wearing, not for her singing or thought provoking lyrics.

Anna Nicole married a man more than twice her age for money. Making her the butt of many jokes. She made films, but instead of honing her craft, she produced and starred in anything that came her way. Quick! Can you name one Anna Nicole film? See, it isn’t easy…. She spent more time in court than anything.

Brit and Anna’s big misstep was their reality shows, Britney and Kevin: Chaotic and The Anna Nicole Show respectively. They erased the line between public and private personas. They literally let it all hang out on television; the “innocent but sexy” morphed into “straight raunchy and rude”. Because of this, many naive and/or uneducated people felt it was cool to be doing these things because celebrities are cool, these two women are celebrities, and therefore, it must be okay and cool.

With these shows, young girls felt it was okay to display sexual behavior of a 25+ year old. If you don’t believe me, read Middle School Girls Gone Wild editorial and see for yourself.

Brit and Anna were clearly crying out for help at this point. Yes, it is too late for Anna, but Brit needs a serious session or too with Dr. Joyce Brothers or someone. These women pushed and pushed things in the media that now, for the same level of attention, they needed to do these shows. Now, it has come out that both have/had to have sex in order to feel loved and when they don’t, they feel worthless, lonely, and anxious.

I see this in teenage girls. They cling tightly to a relationship, doing anything to make it “WOW!” as the media blitz of celebrities is everyday. They bend themselves in any direction to please their “man”, including having sex, oral and otherwise, in various public places such as school auditoriums and buses. And yes, this is sadly true. Some young girls are defiling themselves as Brit and Anna do/did to numb the pain, whether it be with drugs, alcohol, meaningless sex, tattoos, etc. Some follow Anna Nicole into a death too early all because they couldn’t live up to the hype.

Our society needs to begin to take a hard look inward and figure out where our young women are heading. Tragedy is where my friends. Because if we don’t do something soon, your local mall, the Mecca of teens, may begin to resemble a shady strip club from the Vegas strip.

Food for thought…
Peace

How Did He Do That?

I am EXTREMELY pressed for time this week and beyond tired, and I did not want more than a week to pass between posts. Therefore, my post today is a video of a Japanese magician who does the most mind-blowing trick. It takes a few minutes to watch and most of the language is Japanese, but you will get the idea.

Here is my question though: If this man can take the time and determination necessary to master this amazing trick, why can't politicians, heads of state, etc. sit down and talk rationally about solving some of the problems in today's society?

Enjoy the video!

Coincidence? I think not...

Well, I have to hand it to myself. I love when I talk about things and then the rest of the world catches up and/or agrees. My students know that this happens to me. Do you remember (if you live in SE New England) the cloudy and dreary November and December we had? Some of my students were reading Macbeth at the time as I explained how much the weather dictated the goings-on in Scotland. The weather turned for the better as soon as we were finished… but I digress…

Call it luck coincidence, dumb luck, kismet … whatever, but these things do happen often to me.

So, this AM after schlepping to the local grocery store for my typical Sunday ritual of getting food shopping done before the masses awake, I hunkered down with the Sunday paper. I pulled out the comics first, as I have done since I was old enough to read.

After giggling about the goings-ons with Opus and Dilbert, I turned the pages and read Doonesbury. Man oh man! If Trudeau isn’t a god already, now he is channeling me! ;) I mean come on! It is about the teenage girl in the strip (the name escapes me) wondering what she has to do to become like Paris Hilton.

Go to The Doonesbury Website

Check it out – but remember it was Sunday, Feb. 4, 2007’s comic. If the link doesn't bring you to the above described comic, I believe if you click previous, you will get to it.

You Down with WWB? (Yeah, you know me!)

I decided that my first post need to begin with something I have been referred to by my bud at 1% More Conscious, and something the world lacks, needs more of, and something many people misinterpret and are scared of – WWBs.

A WWB is a Woman With Balls – figuratively, not physically. Let’s define what that is because again, it is often misunderstood. A WWB is not the loudest, most obnoxious woman in the room because she is famous or rich, or the woman dancing on the bar drunk without panties, throwing good sense and caution to the wind. A WWB also is not someone who backstabs people in the national media, even if these people have betrayed her. A WWB does not dress in too little clothing and/or clothing that is three sizes too small, revealing everything.

A WWB is a woman who is not afraid to speak her mind, but does so elegantly and intelligently; is a woman who will stand up for herself when betrayed, but will never sink to the level of her betrayers; is a woman who isn’t afraid to dress and think provocatively, but does it with style and grace as so it is never misunderstood as being dirty or whorish; is a woman who is not afraid of being who she is, she will not “dumb it down” are play a subservient role in order for others to feel more comfortable around her. She is a good friend and she takes care of her family willingly and lovingly, never apologizing for having a softer side. And by the way, if a WWB dances on the bar while howling at the moon, she does it with her underwear on because there is a time and a place for everything.

I am proud of my WWB distinction. Many people have called me “bitch”, among other nastier names for doing all of the above. Believe it or not, more women have told me that “I need a man” and, in order to get one, I need to be more needy and change who I am. EXCUSE ME! Did I hear you right?!? Yes you did and some of these folks are supposed friends. By the way, I am great with who and what I am, and without a man thank you very much.

However, this behavior is nothing new in our society. When women were fighting for the right to be considered human beings worthy of the right to vote, the right to hold property, and to work in certain jobs, who were their biggest opponents? Other women! Of course, men did play a part, but women have protested the movement to grant women equal rights throughout history, including the latter 20th century. Phyllis Schalfly, anyone?

Having a daughter, I want her to grow up to be a WWB – a caring person who can think for herself and is not afraid to be who she is and speak her mind intelligently. Alas, the world is lacking visible WWBs; WWB role models if you will.

People in the media spotlight are, whether they want to be or not, going to be looked at for examples. There are few young WWBs for young girls to look up to as an inspiration. There is not a younger Pat Benatar or Debbie Harry that rocks the house but does it in a respectable fashion. Britney? Her whole body doesn’t have as much class as one of either Benatar’s or Harry’s eyelashes let only actual singing ability and talent. Jessica? PLEASE! She is too busy trying to find a man to get back at the good thing she lost, Nick Lachey, for moving on after she dumped him. Christina is working her way toward WWB status, but she has a ways to go; hope she makes it because she is a great talent.

We do have a few WWBs in Hollywood – Reese Witherspoon, Uma Thurman, Selma Hayek, and Penelope Cruz. They are talented, think of others, and none of them publicly rolled over and died when they were cheated on and/or got dumped publicly. Unlike Jennifer Aniston who has told the whole world about Brad Pitt missing “a sensitivity chip”, etc. to every media outlet that would listen. Jen, if you are reading, sorry you got dumped. But it happens to the best of us. Remember, you are a drop-dead gorgeous millionaire who does not need to every work again. You also do not have kids in the mix and can afford to buy a nice place to live and you aren’t going to get screwed out of your alimony because of your millionaire status. Be a WWB, dry up those tears, buy a fabulous dress, and get out there! Cut the crap!

However, these ladies are older – cool, but older. Paris, Mary-Kate and Ashley, Nicole, and Lindsay are what today's younger set admire and these starlets all have HUGE problems - drugs, under-age drinking and perhaprs alcoholism, anorexia, too dependent on men to make them happy. It is a nightmare! Nontheless, girls want to be them and to act like them in their respective, seemingly boring lives. Would you want any young girl you know to want to be like them? Of course not! But alas, I teach high school and the emulation and desire to be them is out there. It is scary – “Jack Nicholson in The Shining” scary.

My point is this – either be a WWB or encourage WWBism. Do not put a WWB down for having an opinion. This is America after all. Right now, we do not have an Eleanor Roosevelt, a Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, a Katherine or Audrey Hepburn, a Grace Kelly, a Princess Diana, a Rosa Parks, a Sacajawea, or Margaret Sanger in the spotlight as great inspiration, breaking boundaries and doing it with poise and elegance. This dearth of WWBs in the media or lack of media play to these types of women means that the young girls of America need to be inspired close to home – by their moms, aunts, sisters, grandmothers, teachers, bosses, etc. Otherwise, our girls will turn into anorexic coke-whores who need money, constant sexual stimulation, and fame like they need oxygen, food, and water to survive.

So stand up WWBs! Stand up and show people who you are and fight the crap that is infecting our girls. And the next time someone calls you a bitch, say thank you and smile at that person. I do … and it perplexes them every time.